Dating men who are grieving
At the opposite extreme is a kind of sexual restlessness, which motivates men to score multiple encounters with no thought of commitment.The Internet is awash with the plaints of women who discovered too late that their hopeful couplings with widowers were mere temporary trysts with men unable to move on.Does a man's brooding brand of anguish turn too soon to a quest for companionship and (ultimately) sex?Sociologist Katherine van Wormer suggests that a widower may find that sex can be an effective panacea.you may want him to talk about his feelings and wonder why he doesn’t even seem to care or shed a tear.You might be amazed that he wants to make love to you at a time when it is the last thing on your mind or spend hours out in the shed, keeping as busy as possible."Sex in the early, raw stages of grief might be more of a distraction, a momentary pleasure," he says.
Denial of loss is a common thread in the grieving process, says van Wormer, recalling the Freudian-based idea that sex can be "a screen for terror." Author and blogger Mark Liebenow does not dismiss the idea of sex as escape, or even as self-therapy, though he says, "this wasn't my experience." He agrees that forceful behavior can help a man cope with losing someone dear.Are there things that are too painful to discuss at family holidays? While family members and friends may be grieving the loss of one specific individual, it is important to remember that each person’s grief journey is a unique and changing thing.No two people grieve in the same way, or at the same pace.Based on social cues and family traditions, men and women may find an extra challenge in understanding the grief experienced and expressed by the other gender.Our guest author today helps us to see these differences not as faults or flaws, but as nuances of grief that need to be recognized and considered as we each move towards healing.